Jon Snow, you stink

I am a fan of the Game of Thrones series. The thing is I am not a fan since the beginning. I start watching it when season 2 was over, so by the time season 3 started to get aired I was already up to date. My favorite characters when it comes to men are Khal Drogo (of course), Rob Stark and another of course, Jon Snow. Amazing men, good looking men,

Well, as you know, besides the story, violence, murder, plot, blood and guts all over the place, the series are famous also for the explicit pussys, dongs and sex scenes. Good. Perfect. No problem for me. I've seen porn. It lowered the standards for me.
And you see all these gorgeous men marching for days, weeks, fighting in battles in an era when showers and soap were not nvented and when people were not so water friendly. They come back to their women and they engage in fucking and all of a sudden your face turns like into an after tequila shot face when you realize that those people must smell very, very bad. The kind of smell that produces an automathic gagging reflex. I am not talking only about men here. Women also are to be blamed. The thing that comes into my mind is the smell that the watermelon leaves when left one week in the heat. Horrible!!!!!

I am very sensitive with any kind of smells, not to say the bad ones. Especially when it comes to sex and all the organs involved. I was very close once to a, let's say, not freshen up male reproductive organ. At that point I decided that that thing will not penetrate any of my female sanctuary holes. And it didn't. Yessss, I had the tequila after shot face. And what is worse, the smell stucked into my olfactive memory. So now, each time I am in a similar situation I have to carefully check it. You know, get closer a little bit, take a sniff, retrieve, then again even closer, take a sniff, retrieve again, and again even closer, until you hear him asking: "Are you going to blow me or you are preparing yourself for a high jump?" Relax dude, I am traumatized. :)

Do you remember that scene when Jon Snow loses his virginity with Yngritte? I think that's the definition of when somebody asks you to be dirty and filthy in bed.

The Saussage Theory

For this first story I choose my original stupid theory that I have for years and I always share it to my friends each time I cease the opportunity.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where your body does not respond to your needs? Like when you are…let’s say…constipated.

Yessssss.  When you rrrrreally want to go and have a decent poop, but your body just puts you on stand-by. And you don’t know what to do anymore, and you are sweating, and you cannot maintain a proper conversation with anybody because your mind is constantly on your bloaded intestines. And you start getting desperate. And you already are thinking on what pills or laxatives to take.

Well, here I come as the Bowel Hero rescuer and this is my Saussage Theory:

If you find yourself constipated, ...just eat more. You would dare to ask me WHY. Because if you eat, the food is going into your stomach and from your stomach into your already fool of shit intestines and therefore is going to push everything out eventually. The process is exactelly like the saussage meat filling in the pork/lamb intestines. You put the intestine on the machine, the meet comes out from the machine, pushes the content, anf if you insist you will finally get it full. Make a knot and nothing will come out.

Luckily we have a hole and no knot on the other side of the intestin, which will help us a lot in this process. So keep eating until you get everything pushed out. And everything will come out...believe me. :)

Thank you for your time. This is my Saussage Theory and I chose to share it with you.

You are welcome.